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Young little dolphins that have evolved into baby turtles with skinny buttholes
I threw my cat in the deep fryer
A fluffy cute little creature that is most likely planning your demise.
The cuddly cat stared at the bird. To eat it or love it.
No. 1 - Cats are literal thieves who have the one goal of annoying you to shit. They usually do this to get your attention. Once this attention has been gained, they expect you to scratch them in the literal perfect place or will make their displeasure known by giving you a scar that will last a lifetime. If you have somehow figured out how to scratch them correctly, they will walk everywhere and expect you to follow them (don't follow them). But deep down, you are their favorite thing to ever exist
No. 2 - Living organisms that either have the softest or harshest fur around. Their back may be the most unpleasant thing you've ever touched, while their breast is absolutely incredibly soft.
No. 3 - Something you can't live without once you get one. Many people compare them to dogs, but they are completely different. "Dog" and "Cat" people usually have one main difference: their ability to love. If you have ever had a cat, you know you sometimes wish they died or ran away forever. But when this animal dies, you almost wish yourself to die because you realize just how much they mean to you once they're gone. If you can love a bad cat when you have one, know you are a wonderful, compassionate person that probably doesn't have what they deserve.
PERSON TWO (dog owner): "Dude, have you ever had a dog? They're so lovable and you can just get another one and never notice your old one was gone."
PERSON ONE (cat owner): "No, and I don't plan on getting one. My cat is everything I'll ever need."
PERSON TWO: "Hasn't you're cat almost destroyed every skin cell on your body? You're just a lump of scars!"
PERSON ONE: "You don't understand because you're a dog person. If you every get a cat, which I'm not suggesting you do, you'd know that they're irreplaceable."
PERSON TWO: "Maybe that's true, but I'm an Apple person and literally don't change my opinion on anything. You're probably a better person than I'll ever be!"