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Gym hippies are usually popular and everybody loves them and they welcome them with a smile. This karma chaser has a look of peaceful confidence, wearing yoga pants (regardless of gender) and unkempt hair. An earthy odour maybe mixed with patchouli or incense, and occasionally the aroma of Snoop Doggs concert. They are extremely friendly and their passive nature tranquilizes your soul which is a bad thing because the only reason you listen to AC/DC on your Ipod is to get hyped up. Make sure you don't get too friendly with a gym hippie because the conversation make turn to hot political topics such as their opinion on the Government or the situation between Donald Trump and Kim John-Un, which you'll have to kindly excuse yourself from or be locked into a 15 minute listening session when all you really wanted to do was your last set of leg presses.
Girl 1: 'What on earth is Angelica doing?'
Girl 2: 'She's blessing us all with her Angel dust'
Girl 1: 'She's so cute, she's just a gym hippie'
She's the same lady that's always on the cardio machine every time you go to gym regardless of the time or day. Whether she is walking on the treadmill, climbing the Stairmaster or using the elliptical machine, she always appears to be doing a minimum of two hours a day. She never uses anything other than the cardio machines and always has head phones on and is always tuned into whatever is on the television. They think they're super models when they're really a cross between a dead corpse and a malnourished praying mantis who cling to the cardio machines and still think that they are fat.
Julie: 'Is she going to get off the stairmaster?'
Stef: 'You've got no hope Jules, she's always on it, she's the cardio lady'
Julie: 'They should a time limit on each machine, so others can get a turn'
Stef: 'Good idea, why don't you go tell reception'
Julie:'I will'.
The type of person who is located by an outer wall at the gym. The Predator simply slinks around the gym and stares at people. They look creepy and mentally disturbed. If you catch him/her in the act, they'll nervously look away and try to fake a text message from their cell phone. The Predator rarely exercises at all, possibly due to the fact that they are shy to ask a person to show them how to do something.
Hulk Hogan: 'Whose that zit infested puny guy sitting on the seated bicycle machine?'
Captain America: 'Wouldn't have a clue Hoges, he looks awfully shifty to me'
Hulk hogan: 'I'm gonna rip him if he doesn't stop staring at us'
Captain America: 'Don't worry about him, his staring at everyone, his probably one of those people who lurk around to see how things work around here, his a gym predator'.
They're not the most approachable people. When you're a newbie the last thing you need is a meat head who continuously stares at you as you move from one machine to the other. It's like a scene from Prison break,when an inmate is holding his belongings and his taking that intimidating walk to his cell accompanied by Prison guards and the old heads death stare him waiting to claim him as their bitch. Meat heads intimidate you and they wait for you to do the wrong thing before they scream at you as loud as they could 'DON'T DO THAT' or 'YOUR FORM IS TERRIBLE' or
'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING', they laugh at you and shake their heads in disbelief. Meat heads are the reason why you ditch your membership.
Meat Heads think they know it all.
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When you have two or more so called gym-goers wasting 35% of each sweat session on non-fitness activities. They're also called gym rats. They are 24/7 blabbers. They talk about everything that's happened to them in the past month while they're holding onto the handle bars. They're loud, obnoxious and inconsiderate. They also make and receive calls while the conveyor belt is still going. What's more annoying is that when their blabbing session has ended and you're about to conclude your 50 minute 10 kms sprint, they death stare you as though you've just ruined their day by tread talking.
Tread talkers are usually gossiping gym rats.
A gym show pony are usually newbies who try to act big and strong but they're actually clueless. They normally come in groups of 2 or 3, they spend their time gossiping talking about rainbows and unicorns and the guy/girl they met on the weekend, what they ate in the last couple days while glancing over their shoulder scanning others while they're working out. The usually do spot a few who they would like to compete with whether it's strength, endurance or what they're wearing. Gym Show Ponies waste their time by going from one machine to another only to do 5-10 reps on each one. They grunt while they deadlift to attract attention before slamming the barbell whilst giving their self claimed competitor a deadly affirmation that they're strong and try to beat that if you can. They proudly walk around as if they own the gym when in actual fact they look like they've got a dick stuck up their ass and they try to secretly wedge it out while they walk.
Selena is such a Gym Show Pony, all she does is watch other people and talk about her private life.
Kevin thinks his Mr hot shot. I died from laughter the moment I saw him leg press 100 pounds, I think he did 8 reps before he jumped off to catch his breath.
The type of girl who shows up at gym at 9 am, fully decked out in the latest sports gear making sure her sports bra matches her phone case and sneakers, gum in her mouth, perfectly styled hair, face caked an perfectly contoured to give the illusion she has high cheek bones, looking like she's about to hit the clubs or shoot an porn scene. You'll find her pouting her Restylane enhanced lips in front of the mirror arching her back, sucking her stomach in to take selfies to post on instagram, # Great workout, last squat rep, booty werkday, trainerholic, no pain no gain, squat till you drop. Then, she'll treadmill it on 4 speed zero incline to take another selfie to post 'treadin it out as a cool down'. That's what Gym Selfie Sluts define as 'sweating it out at the gym'.
If you're still looking cute after a workout honey, then the only thing you trained are your finger muscles. Your a gym Selfie Slut.
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