canfire song

differs from campfire songs in that you are more likely to hear it around a flaming garbage can or oil drum like that of Townes Van Zandt or Hank Williams

"Do you know any fun campfire songs?"
"No, but I know a lot of unfun canfire songs."

corporate tool

Someone who works for THE MAN.

A cog in the corporate machine.

Someone whose net worth is slightly above that of office machine.

An employee known more readily to the corporate decision-makers by his or her employee number rather than by name.

A college-educated employee who makes the same wages as that gum-chewing, fingernail-painting, web-surfing, GED-holding front-desk worker downstairs.

Someone whose job task involves suppressing any creative or thoughtful contribution and merely inputting the data required by THE MAN and outputting the results they expect.

See also whipping boy

“I had to go meet our often-disgruntled and potentially belligerent customers wearing a black t-shirt that reads in bold, white type: “How Are We Doing?” along with our customer comment phone number. I am such a corporate tool.”

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