Kratinoff

A celebratory shot composed of a distinguished blend of a fellatial-forward whiskey (distilled in mahogany casks) that is misogynistically blended with pappy aged syrup lacking moral restraint. Shake semi-abusively in an iced Cocktail Shaker for no more than 40 winks. Strain and pour into a 1.5 ounce Kratinoffian glass garnished with erotic humiliation and revolutionary triumph. Serve while chilled.

Congratulations, Brandon. Kratinoffs for everyone to celebrate your success!

corner kick

Equal parts vodka, Red Bull, and Chambord. Fake an injury while shaking over ice. Strain, and serve as a shot after adding an arbitrary amount of time. Toast while shouting “Goooal!” Finish as a tie.

Congrats on your recent success, Mike! I’m ordering a round of corner kicks to celebrate!