Big Sam

A current New Zealand celebrity once thought to be a maori myth. Big Sam, also known as Sam Read is known for his awkwardness specifically around the female gender. Big Sam is disporportionaly Big as opposed to most people named Sam. He is known to refer to Wikipedia upon imminent loss of an argument. Big Sam is known to have only one known natural predator, Harry. Big Sam will consume a small apple over the time period of a few hours. This annoys everyone in the vicinity as he nibbles like a small squirrel. Historic sources have claimed that Big Sam has Soviet ancestory in him. Although Big Sam confirms this, there is no evidence in which to fully support this, thus making Big Sam a Big Liar.

Big Sam Whispered "Evening, Young Patawon" into the ear of his friend as he nailed him with an awkward man touch

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