Crotch Held Device

Most people would call it a hand held device, I call it a crotch held device.

Please see crothchphones. Crotch held device.

Crotchphone

A device that has mummified, stupefied almost every human on the planet.
You conditioned souls would call this device the smartphone.

I can't stop staring at my crotch cause my crotchphone is permanently affixed to it.

DAP

Daily affirmation post.

Because my pathetic meaningless life is so worthless, I must post something social media (DAP) to affirm my existence by more meaningless people I don't even associate with. I must do this on a daily basis because my life is meaningless on a daily basis.