Camping

When you have house guests and you have to go outside to masturbate.

"My in-laws are in town all month. Looks like I'm going have to camping this weekend. I hope the mosquitoes aren't too bad. Last time, I had a skeeter on my Peter."

Hair of the Dog

When you are going down on someone and your beard is so long you get your own beard hair caught in your throat.

Last night I went down on her and hair of the dogged myself. I coughed up a giant hairball in the morning.

Road Swag

The act of finding something useful on the road or ground during a journey of any kind.

I found a hammer on the my bike ride yesterday. Best road swag I've found yet.