Biden

A man with low self esteem brought on early by male pattern baldness and the inability to tell the truth about himself or the many accomplishments he never achieved. His racist and bigoted remarks go back to his humble beginnings when he was married with four children while having extra-marital relations with a then 15 year old babysitter named Jill who eventually cheated on her first husband and later became Bidens wife. Biden is a proud member of the "M.A.P.S." Organization (Minor Attracted Person) and can frequently be found in a nearby ice cream shop sniffing small children and making inappropriate comments about their age gap. Nicknamed "Pedo Pete" by his son Hunter, Biden spends his days in hiding waiting for his next dose of amphetamines to kick in so he can go out and conquer all the Corn Pops of the world. Biden is a professional liar with horrible speaking skills and a loose sphincter.

Biden likes to shower with his teenage daughter.