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To finally consummate your "more than friends" relationship with the love of your life.
While Beth was completely enamoured with John because of his SpongeBob smile and work ethic, she was growing increasingly frustrated with not being able to seal the deal.
A term used to imply that someone is taking too ( to if your name is John )long to get to their ( if your name is John you will most likely use there) intended destination; and they need some prodding to get to said destination.
The always witty and clever Beth, was growing increasingly sexually frustrated and often had to resort to many interesting ways to tell John to hurry up so he could help her manage her frustration.
While the name itself is quite common and can be quite the euphemism, a true John is a rare breed. The most prized of species will take on spongebob qualities such as a diastema (gap tooth) and amazing work ethic.
Look at that John over there with his Homer Simpson hair, he is the love of my life.
While the name John may be common, and versatile as it is a preferred euphemism for some mundane and not so mundane things; the "cis gender" male John is anything but. There are many human male Johns on the planet, and while no two are the same, there does seem to be a preferred type. An extensive poll of attractive, loyal, kind, intelligent, hardworking and endearing woman, found that the most coveted of Johns seem to be this hybrid of dorky yet extremely masculine man. Let's just say hypothetically, that said John was out kayaking with a childhood crush, it would not be uncommon, for that crush to look over at him, and think " Oh my God, not only has this mid life crisis morphed him into Homer Simpson, but I am completely and utterly in love with that Duff drinking goofball".
As she tried to kayak herself out of the circle she kept paddling herself into, Beth was growing increasingly frustrated, wondering when she would finally get to consummate her relationship with John.
Johns are an interesting breed and are quite versatile, with the name serving as various euphemisms. Phenotypically speaking, Johns can be quite varied, but the most coveted among ideal women is the John that has recently emerged from some sort of existential crisis. One will notice this highly prized type by his interesting mix of dorkinness and raw masculinity. When not kayaking or rescuing damsels in destress, you can find a John jetsetting around the country to fix things. He fixes things, big things, machines that are important to industries which in turn help make economies run.
After paddling herself in circles in the kayak, John told Beth that he would save her if she flipped over. It was in that moment, that she knew what the hype of catching a rare Pokémon felt like, for she had spotted the rarest of Johns.
The only person that you could every truly love completely and unconditionally; no other person could ever hold a candle to them.
Beth: John W., you are the love of my life. When you smile your SpongeBob smile, my heart melts.
A special breed of John which is named for his SpongeBob work ethic, smile and optimism; as well as his unconditional love for the Squidward in his life.
Look at that voluptuous woman over there adoring that man over there, he must be a SpongeJohn.