spat

Noun: The wet spatter (hence the name) which flies into the bowl of the toilet during a furious diarhea-type shit. Also, the residual wet the clings to one's leg and drawers when one sharts (shits one's pants).

"Holy fuck that Indian food was great. Only problem is my stomach back there. i think i got a little spat on the chief (dick)."

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Redcap

Traditionally, the most evil of all goblins whose cap is dyed red with the blood of his human victims. In recent times, this is a term to define the fugliest of all women. She will take domain in your home and not let you hang out with your friends.

Chris: "Hey Ryan, wanna go to the bar and watch the game?"

Ryan: "I can't man, Kara wants me to sit in my bedroom and hibernate all weekend."

Chris: "Damn dude, you gotta get rid of the redcap... so juicy."

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behead the brown tortoise

Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.

"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."