van Nistelrooy

The most complete centre forward in the universe. Scored 25 goals in the English Premiership. Won the Golden Boot. Top goal-scorer in the UEFA Champions League. Appears in every non-bias Dream Team. Coveted by every top team. Better than any Henry, Beattie, Owen and fucking idiots (people who do not support the richest, biggest and best football club on earth, Manchester United. All in all, no one can say a bad word about him.

Value: £100000000000000000000000000000m pounds (the lowest price he would cost)

As perfect as Van Nistelrooy

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