Monkey

Monkeys are small, mostly harmless primates (see deformed stupid humans) ranging from just under 3 feet to roughly half the length of the ISS. They are most well-known for throwing feces, plotting to reincarnate Darth Vader and take over the world, and spreading the widespread disease known as post-traumatic-autism-disorder or PTAD. They usually start as smart humans, but slowly get more and more insane when exposed to other Monkeys (usually in High School) and eventually transform into the stage we know as "braindead". Then, there's no escaping the deplorable and hairy transformation to what we call a "deformed chimpanzee". Not only are they 50% more likely to become monkeys if their parents are as well, but they always seem to have a lasting relationship with croissants. Recent studies show that monkeys, are in fact, flammable, and can only be doused with radioactive kittens.

It's a wonder how Donald Trump isn't a monkey yet. Oh wait, he already is.