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Warning!!! May cause pants pissing while reading.
Dumpy Pipes is a beautiful act of when you release so much juicy fecal matter out of your dumpy hole, that it splurts up and hits your dumpy hole and makes you feel aroused and erotic. When you go to flush the glorious fecal soup, the toilets clogs so loud that it groans from the satisfaction and amount of dumpy, and the when you try to flush it a second time it covers your bathroom walls from roof to floor, it usually gets in your mouth too, due to it being open from the shock of the arousal.
This usually happens when you need to take a shit all day, but don't, because you're at your lousy job, and you're too ashamed and insecure to use public fecal releasing facilities.
So by the time you get home, the fecal matter has been festering and screaming for release via loud grumble noises and toxic gases.
Other common causes of this are loneliness, anxiety and being an insecure person about your toxic gases.
Dumpy Pipes will be worse if you have lactose intolerance. It may also be green due to allergies, but ignore it, it's perfectly normal, it's just the hormones â as my psychiatrist would say.
Person A: "Aye yo, can I come over to your house tonight so we can log swap in your bathroom; tacobells closed due to health concerns after our frequent sessions in the bathrooms."
Person B: "Nah man, I just took the biggest Dumpy Pipes last night after my 12 hour shift when all I had was caffeine and cheese."
Person A: "Oh it's ok, I don't mind, I like the scenery of the wet sloppy smells dripping off the walls."
Person B: "Oh all good, just so you know, it might be a bit green."
Person A: "That's so unique, I love it, I bet it taste better."
Person B: "You know it does, my little shittee~"
Person A: "Yes daddy~"
Log Swapping is a display of dominance, trust and ultimate connection between two people or more.
It involves (a) shitter(s) and shittee(s). The shittee stretches the waist band of their clothing and underwear, allowing access for the shitter to bend down and excrete their feces inside the shittee's underwear. After the feces has been evacuated from the shitter, the shittee lets go off their waist band and allows the shit to snap into their backside and smoosh into all crevices. Experienced shittees will know how to let the log drip through their underwear and down their legs, the technique is a secretive form of knowledge passed down by the elders of Log Swapping groups.
After the practice, it is quite common, to have rough, shower, anal sex, so the shittee fully experiences the log of their lover squelching, smooshing, rubbing and dripping inside of them. It also helps to clean out the feces after the banging hot anal sex.
More experienced Log Swappers will know the shower part is an essential part of the connection, but also know that to leave a bit of feces inside, so that others may know the shittee belongs to the shitter, as it is an act of dominate ownership.
There are a number of Log Swapping groups in most countries, they usually like to do it in takeout bathrooms after sharing a large meal together, usually with lots of beans and spicy foods; taco bell is a popular location.
Person A: "Dude, I just joined a Log Swapping group, last night was the most spiritual and connecting experience of a life time, you should totally try it."
Person B: "Wait what? What is Log Swapping?"
Person A: "It's the ultimate form of
asserting dominance and becoming one with another person."
Person B: "Wow, that sounds amazing, I would love to try."
Person A: "You should join this weekend at Taco Bell, the meals on me, then after being in the Taco Bell bathroom, we're going to the public pool down the road. Make sure to wear light coloured skinny jeans, preferably white or light pink, so we know you're a Log Swapper as it's a discrete way of communicating it, as well as enjoyed during the session."
Person B: "Dude, this sounds really obscure."
Person A: "Do you trust me?"
Person B: "Always"
Person A: "Then be my little shittee tonight~"
Person B: "Yes Daddy~"