Maria

Generally, an awesome person and the girl next door every guy wishes he had. She can be funny and possess one of the best laughs you will ever hear. Marias typically have light brown skin (although they may tell you they are pale), juicy kidneys, and have been spotted with abnormally long middle toe fingers and a unibrow.
A Maria has a contagious smile. When speaking to a Maria, it is hard not to smile, which may confuse her and result in a comical face that will undoubtedly make you laugh.
A Maria is typically feisty. It is not uncommon for her to punch people at work/school. If she punches you, it is a sign of affection - just punch her back. A Maria mostly avoids showing affection by more common means; however, an intoxicated Maria could demand your close presence and even pet your arm.
A Maria may tell you she gets clingy clingy when drunk and doesn’t like the vulnerable way she feels in this state. This further emphasizes her girl next door persona, as the innocence required to tell that to a guy and expect him to not immediately leave to buy a bottle of her favorite tequila is impressive.
It is common for a Maria to listen to salsa music at very loud volumes shortly after waking. This can cause strain on close relationships. Her smile may ease this pain, but is likely not sufficient.
Losing a Maria would be a harsh reality and it should be avoided. If you can get her to hold your hand you should never let go, use handcuffs if necessary.

Man, I'm so glad Maria went out with us, she was awesome! BTW, What happened to my shoes?

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