blum

v. To throw the rules of grammar out the window during an attempt to convey a message (generally written) to another party, creating an unintelligible mess of correctly-spelled (though often incorrectly capitalized) words that nonetheless carry no meaning in their present jumbled form.

(blummed, blumming)

n. The act of having blummed ("commiting a blum") or the resulting jumble of words ("look at that blum")

Email from 1: "Someone Stacked Removed Blue Recycling Bin and Trash Bin Please Return"
(2 approaches 1 later)
2: Dude, what does this note mean? You blummed all over the place.
1: Oh, I had my trash bin and recycling bin stacked outside my door and now they're missing. Have you seen them?

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big socks

Used to describe someone with a large penis. Comes from the innuendo "You know what they say about men with big feet... big socks", and because sock rhymes with cock.

Sally: He's kind of tall, like... I don't know. Jane, how would you describe Jimmy?
Jane: Big socks. (giggles)

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NFI bus

An integral part of your computer (or any other piece of equiptment) which can randomly malfunction, causing a variety of issues and complaints, but which will then work the next day and/or the minute a tech looks at it. This allows the tech to take credit for fixing your computer, when in reality they have NFI what was wrong with it in the first place or how they got it to work.

Also used to appease or confuse technology-challenged users who demand to know what broke (even though they won't understand what you tell them).

-Tech pokes monitor, computer boots up-
Tech: Your computer's all fixed, ma'am.
Lady: Oh, that's lovely. Did you figure out the problem?
Tech: Uh, yeah... You see, your, uh, NFI bus wasn't interfacing properly with the-
Lady: Wow, that sounds complicated! Thanks for all your hard work, I'm surprised you could get it done so fast!

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give that bitch a shovel

v. to teach someone a lesson or show them who's boss.

Derived from the joke: "How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give that bitch a shovel."

Dylan: What would you do if somebody hacked into your computer and changed your background to "Hello Kitty"?
Scott: I'd give that bitch a shovel!

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