bumper thumper

Derived from bible thumper

An automobile that:


* Is valued at less than $1000.00

* Is covered with more than a dozen bumper stickers preaching an ideal you disagree with

* Travels at half the speed limit and tends to linger between lanes

"I'll be late for work unless this fucking bumper thumper gets out of my way."

6👍 10👎

william hung

One of the most brilliant young minds in America.

Formulated a plan where he would gain fame and fortune by singing horribly. His plan worked and can now retire.

William Hung did not gain fame by accident. It was all according to his plan.

429👍 164👎

anal conversion

The act of converting rounded-off figures in one system of measurement to another to far too many digits.

Astronomer to local reporter: With only eye witness accounts, you can't be very accurate, but I'd say the meteorite was one hundred metric tons and exploded a five thousand meters altitude.

Newspaper article: From eyewitness accounts, local astronomer Dr. Hilbert pinned down the rock as being 220,400 lb. and exploding at 16,404 ft altitude.

Astronomer, reading the article: That's anal conversion! I sound like a charlatan!

10👍 4👎

sovereignty

Should mean "Independence and self-government" not just "government" because that meaning is already taken.

Ron: We will transfer sovereignty to the Iraqi people.

Luke: Wouldn't it be better to say we will facilitate sovereignty for the Iraqi people?

59👍 30👎

rubberneck

To drive slowly by a car accident (or site having emergency vehicles) and turn the head to see anything gory.

This act exacerbates traffic delays.

Crews pulled the wreckage off the highway, but drivers continued to rubberneck and cause delays.

796👍 207👎

Pseudocybersimiansymbiosis

Pseudo: fake, false

Cyber: computers or robotics

Simian: monkeys

Symbiosis: mutual


The illusion of augmented monkeys and humans living together in harmony.

At first, the advent of augmented monkeys seemed beneficial for humanity but a sinister conspiracy on behalf of the "little metallic furry friends" soon became apparent. The realization of the pseudocybersimiansymbiosis was too late.

10👍 9👎

cherry picker

1) Person who choses easy tasks over challenging ones.

2) Man who seduces young virgins.

1) "You chose to update the booklets rather than take on the big Hong Kong project? You are such a cherry picker!"

2) "You're dating another Freshman English major? You are such a cherry picker!"

116👍 57👎