Milk Brooch

The badge of honor affixed about the shoulder of a caring parent by a baby during burping. Like snowflakes, no 2 milk brooches are alike. These decorative regurgitation signatures are commonly gifted to the recipient prior to a special night out on the town. Some think that it is the baby's way of helping the parent look their very best just before departing. Sometimes a milk brooch can morph into a milk necklace, but we won't go there.

I was wearing an interesting milk brooch today on my favorite grey sweatshirt. It looked like an octopus swimming diagonally. I got several compliments on it.

Scoulda

Hybrid of should have/could have, shoulda/coulda, or should of/could of. Pronounced: skood-eh. Related to skwoulda.

I scoulda gone to college.

Skwoulda

Hybrid combo of shoulda-coulda-woulda, should have-could have-would have, etc. Pronounced skwood-eh. classified in the same phylum as scoulda.

I skwoulda invested in gold mining stocks.

Working the pommel horse

When a cat is in the process of cleaning/licking her own ass with at least one back leg/paw diagonally in the air(can also be 2 back legs)...AND at least one, but better with two front paws on the ground rendering the illusion of the cat working an olympic pommel horse.

I looked over my shoulder to see what that smacking sound was....staring back at me was my cat....caught red-handed working the pommel horse.

10👍 3👎

Graygrounds

Gray area playgrounds. This is the safe haven where one can operate in borderline unethical or immoral activities safely without fear of repercussions.

That explicit photos exhibit is safe on the graygrounds that it could be construed as art.

Pooped-in

When a person popped-in unannounced and was not welcome.

An unscheduled visitor that is unwanted or comes at an inopportune time will have pooped-in.

I was meeting with client A and client B pooped-in and then complained about waiting 15 minutes in the lobby.

Tide Talking

When a child is crying uncontrollably and you attempt to talk like an auctioneer to a third person within the painfully short, quiet, rhythmic, predictable breath(or reloading) periods of the aforementioned child's bawling.

Dean would not stop crying, so we tried tide talking for 5 minutes straight to spite him.