personal punish

A particularly energetic and aggressive masturbation, it may smash household objects and result in a snapped banjo string. Must only be done when other house mates are out.

"Why is Quentin's laptop smashed and there's a hole in his wall"
"He found a new website and said it was worth a personal punish"

pub tan

The reddish glow that emminates from people who drink for most of their waking hours. It often appears on the nose and spreads to the cheeks.

"Have you seen Dave's pub tan now?"
"Yes he's been pissed constantly for 3 months- think he's gonna get pub stroke"