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A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
"I got a patriot bruise on my calf playing Ralph last weekend".
"Holy crap. So you did."
In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".
I'm so sick of Prefix Rock. Gimme some of the real stuff, like Springsteen!
1π 6π
Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
Bob: Where were you last weekend?
Bill: Sorry, spent all day Saturday Ninja Proofing.
Attempting to remove stuck poop from a toilet with a well aimed high pressure stream of pee.
Are you Oneing the two in there?
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
6π 7π
A computer system made secure by obviously containing nothing of interest. Never a protection against pranksters, in the age of Zombie Spammers, this concept is mostly obsolete.
I protected Mom's computer by installing Windows 98 on it and putting up a thick firewall of bundt cake recipes. True Security by Banality.
A phone call in which you choose your words carefully in an attempt to maintain a coherent conversation with the person on the end of the line while giving a completely different impression of what the conversation is about to anyone standing next to you. Usually involves more than the usual number of pronouns.
From "Tuvan Throat Singing", where you sing two different notes at once.
I had a Tuvan Phone Call last night with my girlfriend. We went on for half an hour and my Grandma had no idea we were having phone sex.
Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.