Random
Source Code
Random
A COVID-19 variant which is exclusively transmitted through fecal matter. It spreads more quickly than other COVID-19 variants. May cause explosive diarrhea.
Upon entering her apartment, Betty finds her roommate lying in a pool of shit on the kitchen floor.
Betty : It reeks in here! What the fuck is going on?
Roommate : Donât touch anything, Iâve caught the Alabama variant.
Samson. Google that shit, honest. Itâs in the fucking Bible.
I love messiahs best when theyâre suicide bombers!
2👍 1👎
Abraham : So what about that Torah? Have you learned anything yet?
Rachel : Fuck you Abe! You know I canât fight against the Mob that Hates Vowels.
Lambering a dude is to give him a reach aroundwhile sticking a finger up his anus, pretty much like a rusty trombone except the blowing in the anus part is replaced by fingering the anus. Much like a rusty trombone, lambering produces a specific vocal music, made by the recipient, somewhat ressembling a baby sheep's bleathing, or "baaing", namely bleats, grunts, rumbles and snorts.
Guy: Is that some kind of weird techno music I'm hearing?
Girl: Nah, it's just my roomate getting his weekly lambering session.
4👍 1👎
Exactly like lambering but done solo by contracting the anal muscle, also known as the Fudge muscle, in such a way as to control oneâs turd exiting and entering the anus in a rythmic manner. The result produces a vibrant symphony of bleats, grunts, rumbles and snorts. Masters are believed to achieve The symphony with this technique.
Elaine : What is that I hear? It sounds lovely!
Jerry : Itâs the damn Maestro practicing the lost art of Reverse lambering.
A Lazy-ass fuck is a loser, plain and simple.
On the other hand, some theologians believe that it might also be code for God or HHVH. The origin of this belief goes back to the notorious 13th century « Lazy God Manuscript », in which it is reported that Aquinas himself declared at the Second Council of Lyon in 1274 : « Est possibile, quod Deus est, in modum pecus a praesepibus viis. », meaning : « It is possible that God is, in effect, a lazy-ass fuck. » The authenticity of the manuscript has been questioned during the 18th and 19th centuries, but it is considered genuine today. Aquinas was the first theologian to achieve Thug Life status.
Tony : God is the shit!
Abraham : I know! He managed to drown every living being on Earth in a one shot flood even though heâs the Lazy-Ass Fuck Supreme! Rock on YHVH!
Any kind of fucking done by someone who had a turd transplanted where his cock used to be.
Newly transplanted dude : Medical science is amazing! From now on all sex is Alabama Hot Cock for me!