therafloozy

Variant: therafloozie

Etymology: portmanteau of Theraflu® and floozy

1. any person, typically a young woman, whose moral judgements become increasingly hampered by the administration of cold/flu medication.

"I never would have hooked up with Stephen in the copier room if it hadn't been for all that Theraflu®," Linda sighed. "Now the whole office knows that I'm a therafloozy."

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acooterment

Etymology: portmanteau of 'accoutrement' and 'cooter'

1 a : EQUIPMENT, TRAPPINGS; specifically : a woman's unmentionables, hygiene products, piercings or other accessories specifically designed for the female sex organs -- usually used in plural b : an adornment, item of clothing, or collection of hygienic equipment -- usually used in plural
2 archaic : the act of acootering
3 : an identifying and often superficial characteristic or device pertaining to a vagina -- usually used in plural

Sally asked me for a tampon, but unfortunately I left home this morning sans acooterments.

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shemergency

an unfortunate occurance that is both uniquely feminine in nature and very urgent.

Janice, cover for me! I'm having a shemergency and need to buy some tampons and Shout wipes ASAP!

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spade cooley

function: verb

etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.

1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently

Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.

If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.

Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.

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defecult

Function: adjective

Etymology: combination of difficult and fecal. Attribution: Ben.

1. describes the difficulty associated with taking an extremely constipated shit, or anything of equivalent difficulty. See also: tenesmus; defecult's pendulum.

(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Susan: So how'd it go in there?
Bob: Defecult.

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defecult's pendulum

Function: noun

Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.

1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.

(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.

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Low Lifes

Term used to describe the mini-bottles of Miller High Life.

Nothing quenches ones thirst as ineffectively as a shot of whiskey and a Low Life.

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