Audiobook

A digital recording of a voice reading a certain novel to people who are just too lazy to do it themselves.

Mr. Hanson: "What took you so damn long to write this book report?"
Ethan: "I listened the AUDIOBOOK version of it. I had to keep going back to the pages because I couldn't remember what the reader said. Sorry."
Mr. Hanson: "So you didn't read Of Mice and Men independently?"
Ethan: "No."
Mr. Hanson: "There goes your A+."

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Splorange

What happens when too much piss builds up in your bladder to the point that the part of your belly (basically where the bladder is) gets bloated.

"Ethan, I can't hold it any longer! I need to empty the tank!"
"I thought I told you to piss before we left the house."
"Well, I didn't have to, then! Also, that was an hour ago!"
"Is it an emergency?"
(pulls up his sweater)
"Does this answer your question? Just look at me! I'm SPLORANGED!"
"If you wet yourself in my car, I'll kill you!"

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Beboppin'

To jack off in a firm but forceful and lively way.

"Dude, you're sweating like shit!"
"I am aware, Ethan."
"You're like, dripping."
"Mop it, then."
"What the hell happened?"
"Oh, nothing, I was just BEBOPPIN' for two hours straight this morning because I kept going through my photo album of Stack's bitches."
"Jeez, when I do it, it's under 5 minutes."

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Groat

The combination of a groan and bloat.

"Ethan, guess what?"
"What?"
"Daniel Keaton uploaded another gorging vid!"
"How many times did he GROAT?"
"37."

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