wanksponge

A sponge one keeps by his bedside to wank upon so as not to cause a mess.

Tim: "Hey derek, look at my bloody wanksponge!"

Derek: "Man that shit is ugly"

7👍 2👎

baker's dozen

Being penetrated by 13 men, one after the other
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
just like that

Tim: This girl walked into our bakery the other day, asked for a baker's dozen... we sure gave her one. She could barely walk afterwards.

Derek: Man that shit is ugly

16👍 68👎

when the fiddler snaps his bow

When it all goes wrong

Tim: "You don't wanna be around when the fiddler snaps his bow, it's a right crease in the tux!"

Derek: "Man that shit is ugly!"

5👍 4👎

bach harmony

When something is awesome, one says it is "da bach harmony"

Tim: "Hey Derek, I had one trim piece of gash last night!"

Derek: "Man that shit is da bach harmony!"

7👍 2👎

you've got the squid by the throat

You've got it spot on

Tim: "Derek, you're right, you've got the squid by the throat there."

Derek: "Man that shit is good"

5👍 3👎