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Michael Moore

A filmmaker who is the absoute master at making gullible people think the way he does.

Brainless Chump: Did you see that movie about George Bush by Michael Moore? Did you know that George Bush was personally responsible for 911. You better vote Democrat.

Me: Uh, you know those same terrorists tried to blow up the World Trade Center during the Clinton administration right? And that Clinton did absolutely nothing about it?

by Alfie The Horndog October 18, 2005

5152πŸ‘ 3223πŸ‘Ž


ho

A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.

Ho, Ho, Ho Merry Christmas!

by Alfie The Horndog July 19, 2005

36943πŸ‘ 8729πŸ‘Ž


Enya

A singer reknowned for her "natural" sound, even though she can't tour because the only way to duplicate that sound is in a music studio. Even her "beautiful vocals" are enhanced by computer.

Enya fans are such hipocrites... There is absolutely nothing "natural" about Enya.

by Alfie The Horndog August 23, 2005

477πŸ‘ 319πŸ‘Ž


Scooby Doo

Cartoon mystery TV show for kids. The "gang" travel around in a colorfully painted van called "The Mystery Machine" solving puzzles.

The gang consist of a talking dog named Scooby Doo, a hippy named Shaggy, a short brainiac named Thelma and two others whose names escape me.

There was also an annoying puppy introduced into the series named "Scrappy Doo", evidentally placed there to try to extend the target audience to toddlers.

As a young boy I figured out early on that nine times out of ten the bad guy was the first person the gang met.

The cartoon were made into two partly non-animated movies. The first one featured the great Rowan Atkinson.

Me: Oh I see you're watching Scooby Doo. I'll bet the bad guy is the first person they met.

My Sister: No way. The first person they met was a cop.

At the end of the show:

Me: See... I told you it was the cop!

by Alfie The Horndog April 7, 2007

679πŸ‘ 189πŸ‘Ž


squeezebox

Slang for accordian and vagina.

Momma has a squeezebox she wears on her chest, when daddy comes home he doesn't get no rest, because they're playing all night. And the music's just right. Momma has a squeezebox and daddy doesn't sleep at night!

by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006

282πŸ‘ 73πŸ‘Ž


oxygen

Gas which animals need to survive and is produced by plant life.

Tree-hugging hippies would like you to believe that 90% of the oxygen in the world is produced by trees and if we lost all the trees, we're dead.

But the truth is trees only supply about 6% of the oxygen... the vast majority comes from algae in the ocean.

Love is like oxygen. You get too much it gets you high. Not enough and you're gonna die. Love'll get you high.

-Sweet

by Alfie The Horndog April 23, 2008

425πŸ‘ 76πŸ‘Ž


The Universe

Everything there is, at least by peons that don't know any better.

The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.

I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.

Two Gods are taking a leak in the restroom....

God #1: So how is The Universe going?

God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.

I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?

God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!

I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.

God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.

by Alfie The Horndog April 4, 2006

280πŸ‘ 100πŸ‘Ž