CSI

The original "Crime Scene Investigation" TV show that spawned a host of other official and unofficial similar series... including House.

Purportrated to be as realistic as possible, using actual procedures in the field and actual equipment in the lab. And I heard that they often base their stories on real events.

But the problem with the show as a "Who done it" is that the writers are always trying to shock their viewers as to who the killer actually is.

Knowing this going in produces the opposite effect and makes the show as predictable as Scooby Doo. For example, one of their favorite things to do is having children: teenagers, pre-teens, and sometimes even toddlers be the killer.

Some cast members:

Gil Grissom: The head of the team and a bug expert. Likes roller coasters.

Catherine Willows: Second in command and ex-stripper. Has a mob boss as a Father.

Warrick Brown: An ex-gambling addict who always looks like he's in pain.

Nick Stokes: Used to have a penchant for the ladies, but they kind of low-keyed that when the actor started losing his looks.

Sara Sidle: Advocate for abused women. I think the main reason she's there is because her name sounds like "suicidal".

ME: Whatcha' watching?
GF: CSI. I think the Father killed his wife.
ME: Father? They have a kid?
GF: Yeah, an adorable 10 year old girl.
ME: Oh... well it wasn't the Father. It was the little girl.

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Asgard

Historical protectors of the Nordic realm. Obviously better than the Greek counterparts, since Nordic men as far less gay.

Erik The Red wasn't as gay as Alexander The Great because the Nordic warriors were equipped with better ass-guards.

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Asgard

Historical protectors of the Nodic realm. The Asgards are the primary reason the Nordic people didn't turn out as gay as people from Greece.

The reason that Erik The Red wasn't as gay as Alexander The Great was because of the ass-guard worn by many Nordic warriors.

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steelwool

Long continuous shaving of steel, iron or copper that is wrapped up in balls and sold in hardware stores.

Used for scrubbing, cleaning and buffing just about anything, they are avaliable in different thickness from super-coarse for scrubbing pots to ultra-fine for buffing balsa wood.

The ultra-fine stuff can bet set on fire with a nine-volt battery for cool firey and smokey effects. See wooley rocket.

Steelwool is very useful for electrically lighting fuses from a safe distance.

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fucktard

Noun. A combination of the word "fuck" (to fornicate) and the word "tard" (to delay). Therefore, a fucktard is a girl who won't let you fornicate with her until like the third or fourth date.

Most catholic girls are fucktards.

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Internet Cop

Someone who exposes internet abusers, virus developers, hackers and posers. Has a wide variety of tricks at their disposal. Often internet cops are ex-hackers trying to go legit by exposing other hackers, etc.

I have to have three layers of hardware encrypted firewall between my LAN and WAN because of all my technically savy enemies. You see, I used to be internet cop.

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