squeezebox

Slang for accordian and vagina.

Momma has a squeezebox she wears on her chest, when daddy comes home he doesn't get no rest, because they're playing all night. And the music's just right. Momma has a squeezebox and daddy doesn't sleep at night!

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Scooby Doo

Cartoon mystery TV show for kids. The "gang" travel around in a colorfully painted van called "The Mystery Machine" solving puzzles.

The gang consist of a talking dog named Scooby Doo, a hippy named Shaggy, a short brainiac named Thelma and two others whose names escape me.

There was also an annoying puppy introduced into the series named "Scrappy Doo", evidentally placed there to try to extend the target audience to toddlers.

As a young boy I figured out early on that nine times out of ten the bad guy was the first person the gang met.

The cartoon were made into two partly non-animated movies. The first one featured the great Rowan Atkinson.

Me: Oh I see you're watching Scooby Doo. I'll bet the bad guy is the first person they met.

My Sister: No way. The first person they met was a cop.

At the end of the show:

Me: See... I told you it was the cop!

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oxygen

Gas which animals need to survive and is produced by plant life.

Tree-hugging hippies would like you to believe that 90% of the oxygen in the world is produced by trees and if we lost all the trees, we're dead.

But the truth is trees only supply about 6% of the oxygen... the vast majority comes from algae in the ocean.

Love is like oxygen. You get too much it gets you high. Not enough and you're gonna die. Love'll get you high.

-Sweet

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Titty Twister

The name of a vampire truck stop in all of the Dusk To Dawn movies.

Girlfriend: "What's the name of the actor who plays that ugly Indian bartender of the Titty Twister".

Me: (Entralled by the topless dancers) Huh?

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Michael Moore

A filmmaker who is the absoute master at making gullible people think the way he does.

Brainless Chump: Did you see that movie about George Bush by Michael Moore? Did you know that George Bush was personally responsible for 911. You better vote Democrat.

Me: Uh, you know those same terrorists tried to blow up the World Trade Center during the Clinton administration right? And that Clinton did absolutely nothing about it?

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stocky

Confusing adjective because there are multiple definitions in different dictionaries...

1) Big man with broad shoulders.
2) Short round man.

Girl #1: I went out with this tall guy last night, he said he was stocky in his emails, but he was short and round.
Girl #2: Oh... then he was stocky.

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captain kirk

William Shatners role on the legendary original series Star Trek. The Captain never failed at anything, always got the girl (even when she had blue skin) and was the only starfleet cadet to ever beat the Kibiyoshi Maru (by cheating), a simulation designed to test how a cadet responds to failure. He's famous for dramatic pauses, which Shatner is also famous for. Was promoted to Admiral in the course of the Star Trek movies, but then demoted back to captain in a later Star Trek movie.

but Spock.........................................................................................why?

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