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britain

A small island that strangely enough still seems to consider itself a world power despite all evidence to the contrary.

The population is still divided by class because the British are still "subjects", not citizens due to the continuing presence of a monarchy. Accordingly the British classify themselves as upper, middle, or lower class on the strength of the job they do. Basically, Law, the civil service and the army is ok ( linked to monarchy), banking and finance tolerated ( money is worshipped in britain) but anything else means you are considered at the level of an African toilet cleaner.

Readership/non readership of the Daily Mail decides your level of patriotism. Accent, employment, education, post code, religion and net wealth makes or breaks the average Brit. One absolute stigma that makes you a "chav" ( modern pretentious middle class term for poor working class) is to find yourself living in social housing. This attitude was introduced by Maggie Thatcher in the 1980's to encourage the housing market.

Also, some time in the late 90's a constituent part of Britain, i.e. the English decided to base their national identity on the wearing of football shirts and the singing of "En-ger-land" over and over to any passing French or German person. Morris dancing and the eating of roast beef one presumes became a little dull in the light of Euro 96.

Currently Britain is considering making being a foreigner a criminal offence. This legislation is hoped to be brought in just in time before Britain disappears up it's own backside sometime after the 2012 Olympics.

Watch little Britain. Say no more.

by Alphonse du ponce March 13, 2008

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