shart

what happens when one has not defecated in the last 10 hours and relaxes the anal sphincter to fart, but, low and behold, the defecation feels left out and decides to come along for the ride. sometimes results in a hard, long log dropping out of trousers, but is usually wet and messy and results when one tries to push out a fart.

nick: man i sharted last night at the party.
john: that sucks man. how'd that happen?
nick: i hadnt shit since the day before and i really needed to fart. i thought i would be okay just to fart but as soon as i let it out i realized what i had done. i didn't make it to the bathroom in time so everyone saw it run down my leg. it was gross.
john: oh...
nick: but my girlfriend helped me. she wiped my ass for me and she put on my diaper. it took her like 67 wipes just to get all of the shit out of my asshole and off my balls.
john: she must really love you...

504👍 230👎

masturbate

when a man slowly and while getting quicker rubs his penis up and down when he is horny until he ejaculates. results in extreme satisfaction.

last night i walked in on my brother masturbating. it made me horny so i stole his playboy, took off all my clothes, and started to masturbate in my room.

33👍 33👎

anal leakage

when you are trying really hard not to shit all over yourself, but a little ends up coming out and then BAM!! you end ups shitting everywhere as it all runs down your leg. Usually results in uncleanable pants and underwear.

--man, last night i had to shit so bad that i had anal leakage everywhere.
--that suks man.
--i know. and it was in front of my girlfriend too! shes not my girlfriend anymore...

33👍 56👎