Stockfish

A chess engine that will beat the shit out of you and make you resign in the opening. The engine is also capable of finding the best move in 0.00069 seconds and play any chess game with 100 or 99.99% accuracy.

Stockfish: Whatever game you’re playing won’t work, you can’t defeat me
Hikaru: Though I know, but he can.
AlphaZero Omar Wa Mou Shindeiru
Stockfish: NANI!?!?!

Fortnite

A game where you steal your mom’s credit card to V-Bucks for useless cosmetics that don’t fucking benefit you at all.

Me:MOM I WANT V-BUCKS FOR FORTNITE
Mom: No I can’t I already spent 316825 dollars on that stupid-ass game
Me: Fuck you mom *slaps mom and sends her to the shadow realm*

Father

A person who always leaves to get milk for no fucking reason at all and will only come back when you become famous.

Father: Alright son Ima head out and get the milk
Me: But we got milk 2 hours ago
Father: You know me, you can never have too much milk!
Me: He’s not getting milk