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Picking the carpet

When a meth head runs out of dope and has to seach the carpet for fallen rock

Watch out, the neighbors are picking the carpet again.

by Amphibious Goddess December 3, 2017


Nobel Penis

Inspiring world peace one cum shot at a time. Keeping your girlfriend kind to the world be giving her orgasmic sex.

Thanks to his nobel penis I have had a shot of kindness and am spreading joy today. I'm so thankful for his punctual penis.

by Amphibious Goddess December 22, 2016


Punctual penis

A guy that has daily morning wood at the same time.

My boyfriend has such a punctual penis I could set my clock by it.

by Amphibious Goddess June 3, 2016

12πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Shake before the cake

Dumb guy at the bar he's going to take it to far. Gotta give him a shake before he eats the cake and makes the biggest mistake, of his life and takes a wife. He wants to get married, I'd rather be buried.

That guy is so clueless he needs a shake before the cake.

by Amphibious Goddess June 4, 2016

9πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Spanish sex dream

When you're blissfully dreaming of a sexual serenade in Spanish and you find yourself stimulated by your boyfriend's punctual penis. Your erotic foreign fantasy becomes midnight magnetism.

mmm, my Spanish sex dream became a spicy seduction of the situation.

by Amphibious Goddess September 20, 2016

9πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Spanish sex dream

When you're blissfully dreaming of a sexual serenade in Spanish and you find yourself stimulated by your boyfriend's punctual penis. Your erotic foreign fantasy becomes midnight magnetism.

mmm, my Spanish sex dream became a spicy seduction of the situation.

by Amphibious Goddess September 20, 2016

5πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


The Situation

When a man has a hard on.

It looks like we need to do something about the situation, or you'll have to do the situation walk.

by Amphibious Goddess June 3, 2016

21πŸ‘ 8πŸ‘Ž