Mehtch

A tinder match you’re not excited about

I got a date with this mehtch at 6, but I’m hoping to fuck and run. Let’s hit the club at 9.

sleaze muffin

Something a little greasy like a pastry, but sleazy like the IT guy peepin some cleavage while he uselessly double clicks your mouse.

Zak, get to fucking work you god-damned sleaze muffin.

3rd Party

When you sit on your hand until it’s numb and then give someone a handjob

Joe met Matt A. Joe was nervous af. He was sitting on his sweaty hands for an hour. They hit it off, and joe gave Matt the 3rd party. Matt loved it. Here’s how it went down:

MattA: “you’re hot”
Joe: “my ex wife wouldn’t like you saying that”
MattA: “neither would mine. How about a handy?”
Joe: “my hands are numb from sitting on them”
MattA: “sounds like a 3rd Party”
Joe: “if I close my eyes, me or my ex wife will never know the difference”
MattA: “if I close my eyes, I can picture your ex wife”
Joe: -slaps MattA

6👍 14👎