Twitter Mortis

When rumors hit Twitter about someone's death--except that the person is alive and well.

Tweet 1: RIP, Eddie Murphy.

Tweet 2: He's not really dead, it's just Twitter Mortis.

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Jiffy lust

The euphoric feeling of being the first to open a jar of peanut butter and seeing an untouched surface.

Marlon had a moment of Jiffy lust before he plunged his knife into the new jar of peanut butter.

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apostrophury

Feeling that is evoked in grammarians and other sensible people when they see apostrophes misused.

Our English teacher rages with apostrophury when we put an apostrophe in the possessive pronoun "its."

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fondue

The act of taking a discussion away from the original topic in blog comments (comparable to bringing fondue to a dinner party and luring all the host's guests from the table).

Joe's blog entry: The Chelsea Hotel is an example of the Queen Anne style of architecture. (includes photo)
Commenters:
Leon: The hotel was built in the late 1800s, I think.
Dan: It was granted landmark status in 1966.
Mary: I lost my virginity at the Chelsea Hotel!
Laura: I lost my virginity while "Stairway to Heaven" was playing.
Ryan: I lost mine under the school bleachers.
Joe: Dammit, Mary fondued my blog again.

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