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liberal

1. Any individual unwilling to accept the notion that with great success there must also come great failure.

ERGO

2. Any individual that would rather settle for mediocrity than strive for greatness.

ERGO

3. Individuals unwilling to challenge themselves outside of their comfort zone, who spend their lives dedicated to maintaining course on the path of least resistance, so motivated at this pursuit they will resort to common thievery to support the practice; but only after dressing the practice up as "reallocation of resources," or "capitalism with a conscience," thereby making others feel guilty for not helping to perpetuate the acceptance of the path of least resistance.

ERGO

4. Lazy asshole; a coward.

1. Jimmy doesn't want to have to work too hard to make anything of himself, he's afraid of failure. Jimmy is a liberal.

2. Jimmy doesn't want to have to work too hard to make anything of himself, he's afraid of failure. Therefore he believes in high taxes on the successful so he won't feel insecure about his lack of success. Jimmy is a liberal.

3. Jimmy doesn't want to have to work too hard to make anything of himself, he's afraid of failure. Therefore he believes in high taxes on the successful to provide him with an easy government job paying between $40,000-$60,000 a year so he won't have to think or work too hard during the day but still be provided the money to buy an X-box and a car. As a result, he can still play video games in his spare time and have enough cash to take females out to dinner and possibly find one that will have sex with him. This way he won't feel insecure about his lack of success. But since others will eventually catch on to his game and realize Jimmy is simply taking the easy way out, he must coin a new phrase for the events taking place, such as the "reallocation of resources," or "capitalism with a conscience." Now he can guilt his fellow citizens into providing him a thoughtless 9-5 job by pretending to care about those that actually had disadvantages growing up. Jimmy is a liberal.

4. Jimmy is a lazy asshole. Jimmy is a coward. Jimmy is a liberal.

by An Untread upon American October 16, 2009

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