Nagivator

1 What you call the person who sits in the passengers seat (or worse, the back seat) of the car with a map on their lap and complains every time you miss a turn that they forgot to tell you about ahead of time.

2 The person who was responsible for reading you the directions to an event, but either forgets them, or doesn't read them properly, and then proceeds to complain that you are never going to get there.

3 The person who was responsible for getting you hopelessly lost because they cannot read a map, even though they said they were an expert, and then spends the rest of your life retelling the tail of how you got the two of you hopelessly lost that one time.

4 Your Mother in-law who claims she doesn't need a map and constantly barks directions over your shoulder, reminiscenses about the construction for the 10 miles.

5 Your Mother-in-law who insists on directions and then fails to use them on your wedding day, leading the sheep unwittingly to an adult bookstore.

Madam, my mother-in-law, the nagivator, nagivated all the way to IKEA.

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Metaphorical Monday

The Tuesday after a Monday Holiday like Memorial Day or Labor Day

Bill: God I hate Monday's!!!

Jane: But it's not Monday It's Tuesday.

Bill: It's the same thing, only today is just Metaphorical Monday!

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