zoom zoom

Slogan originally implemented my Mazada to suggest their quai-sporty yet "affordable" vehicles are capable of solving midlife crises. Can be extended to non-car like objects. Use usually reserved to douchebags.

VP Jerkface: My new laptop zoom zooms.

Guy Who Keeps Things Real: Punches Jerkface in the spine.

23👍 31👎

ash wednesday

Catholic Holy Day observed 40 days prior to Good Friday, where believers walk around with dirt X on their forehead in order to flaunt their holiness.

Normal Guy: Dude, you have some dirt on your face
Jesus-Freak: Really? I wasn't aware. It must be my pure righteousness made manifest, seeping through my earthly pores. Bow to me!

10👍 15👎

lent

That 40 day long period where Christians attempt to emulate Christ-like suffering and minimalism through only the lamest and most half-assed undertakings.

Jesus: I toiled in the desert for 40 days and nights. Then I was beaten until I lost 17.8 litres of blood.

Self-Righteous Christian Tool: I switched to low-carb beer.

497👍 237👎