A lady of a certain age who, spending too much time on Facebook, has lost the ability to interact socially with actual humans and no longer has any boundaries of courtesy, respect or civility. They derive a sense of purpose from badly informed social media crusades, travel in packs, and can be identified by their cognitive dissonance.
Likely to have a celebrity in their underwear as their profile picture, while cover photo will be an inspirational quote that can best be summed up as:
I'm a bit fucked up & will act like a child but if you have a problem with that, it's your own fault'
Low levels of self awareness result in over use of Snapchat filters and a unswerving belief that they are still a size 10.
Husband (if present at all) likely to be mortified by the drunken, argumentative ramblings and relieved that these only take place on non-bingo nights.
Chronic inability to spell disgusting.
Shazzer: More FB kick offs tonight hun?
Jules: Nah babe, it's wednesdee, bingo night!
Shazzer: Facebook ma!
Maintaining an air of credibility when faced with your own lack of sincerity and honesty.
Rarely successful.
Mike: Fancy getting together later?
Jane: Won't your girlfriend mind?
Mike: What girlfriend?
Jane: The one you're in a relationship with on facebook?
Mike: That's nothing, we only went out a couple of times, nothing's happening!
Jane: Maybe you should tell her that :-)
Fleur: That's disingenuous mate!
12π 25π
Scouse Orig.
The act of intruding, joining in, becoming part of something which doesn't concern you & of which you have insufficient knowledge.
Jannette: I've always found it works best if you wash it first..
Fleur: Stop gegging in, no one asked you!
55π 16π
Use in any situation when saying what you really think would be a mistake.
The silent knobhead works in the same way as the 'magic e' or split digraph, as adding it at the end of a word or sentence changes the sound and meaning of the rest of the phrase. It results from implied use of the word knobhead at the end of a sentence, without actually saying it, thus changing the meaning of the sentence. The benefits of using the silent knobhead are that your conversation should be able to continue without the other party realising that they have been insulted, therefore maintaining and protecting relationships, for example with family, friends of friends, or colleagues.
Nannette: Oh my god, did you hear what Christian said to me? He must really mean that he wants us to be friends if he's offering me a massage after the gym!
Fleur: Yes, of course he does. He's probably interested in you for your mind (silent knobhead)!
The image created on the head of a pint of guinness, or other stout, by the careful.pouring of a skillfull bar tender, often in response to a request for a shamrock, when the request us made too late kn the round, for example after all other drinks have been poured. The Guinness penis may be an accidental creationi if the bar tender is particularly tired and/or emotional, or it may be entirely deliberate if the customer is at fault. It can be avoided by always ordering the Guinness first and by asking the bar tender to 'take one for themselves'
Nanette: Do you think thus looks like a guinness penis on my pint?
Fkeur: Did you order it last again? Hmm?
Game played by bored female office workers, wherein an individual is selected and then compared with Bill Oddie. The game can be played using individuals known to both players or celebrities.
Rules: One must be selected as a sexual partner, death isn't an option.
Outcome: It's surprising how often Bill must get laid!
Nanette: I'm bored, how about Playing Bill Oddie
Fleur: OK. David Cameron or Bill Oddie?
Nanette: Ugh. Have to be Bill again. Are you sure death isn't an option?
Fleur: You wish! Your turn.
2π 1π
The manner of walking while wearing Uggs (other brands of boots are available) resulting in unnatural shuffling motions and noises which may be disturbing to the people around you
Jannette: What's that really annoying noise?
Fleur: Sorry, it's me, I've got my Uggs on
Jannette: Well stop shuggling at least! And get dressed!
7π 3π