Rural Dictionary

scall

The scall is basically the predecessor of the chav, and is most commonly found in parks, alleys, street corners (or anywhere roughly 90 degrees) in Liverpool. Like the chav, the scall is subhuman, with absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever, and its "uniform" consists of a monochrome tracksuit (lacoste if the scall has access to cash, nike if it hasn't) or hoodie with the hood always up, trainers, and skinhead. They hang out in huge gangs, though as to who organizes these vast meetings is a complete mystery, as the scall possesses a vocabulary the size of a greenfly's kneecap, and the little speech that can be distinguished is often lazily slurred beyond all comprehension. You had better be ready for abuse when passing one of these gangs, though only when they outnumber you so vastly that there is little you can do. Despite many scalls being 4 feet tall adolescents, they have this inconceivably deluded idea that they are in fact hard, and if ever you have the misfortune to become the target of its horrifically foul mouth, you could be forgiven for thinking that you had upset a 7 feet tall, 350lb street fighter (if you were to shut your eyes). Scalls invariably refer to each other as "lad", and spit and swear as frequently as normal people blink. In short, the scall is a cowardly, ignorant, abusive and fundamentally loathesome creature who should do everyone with an ounce of decency a favour and just die.

Quit calling me "lad", you fucking scall

by Anonymous February 4, 2005

29👍 12👎

Jimmy Page

A much overrated gutarist. Most famous for his days in Led Zeppelin when he dabbled in designer darkness as a follower of Alister Crowley, his ability to consume massive quantities of Jack Daniels, and being shackled to the toilet by the band's manager.

He did a lot of session work that no-one cares about except other session musicians and music snobs. Has done numerous side projects including a failed attempt at a film score, forming the short-lived band The Firm with Paul Rodgers of Bad Company fame, and the only decent thing he's ever done - working with David Coverdale (who makes a much better Robert Plant than the original) for the Coverdale/Page album and, sadly, a short-lived tour of Japan.

He made one solo album, Outrider, using a guest vocalist that no-one knows the name of and that no-one could care about. He managed to rope up former Zeppelin member Robert Plant to do guest vocals on one track which is the only reason the album sold at all - the rabid Robert Plant fangirls had to have it.

Supposedly had a bagful of his incomplete/unfinished/unpublished songs stolen and has since refused to do another solo (or indeed any other) project because of that. He occasionally works on remastering some of the Led Zeppelin back catalogue to keep up the spirits of the fanboys who pine over the yearly reunion rumors and to keep money rolling in.

Is still hung up over the loss of his Gibson "Black Beauty" Les Paul custom guitar which was "stolen" (meaning sold off to pay for drugs) in 1970.