Human Bacterial Frappuccino

1. A community hot tub used by many people and rarely cleaned.
2. A small tub or pool outdoors at a condo/apartment building definitely tainted with semen, blood, piss, shit, snot, and vomit from a variety of people.

"Make sure you wipe the greasy, brown foam off your body when you're done with the human bacterial frappuccino."
"You might want to stay away from that human bacterial frappuccino. My neighbor got hepatitis, tetanus, and pregnant the last time she used it."

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There, I fixed it.

1.) A phrase used upon completion of any unconventional repair of a broken object. These repairs usually include, but are not limited to, duct tape, bungee cords and a hack saw.
2.) "There, I fixed it." may also be used after successfully attaching one item to another using the same unconventional, sometimes unethical, methods of taping, nailing, sawing, cramming, cutting and "resculpturing".

1.) "I have a huge crack in my windshield. Hand me that duct tape. There, I fixed it."

2.) "My doorbell stopped working, so I filled my garbage disposal with spoons, duct taped an old extension cord to the power switch, then ran the cord through a hole I drilled in the front door. All you gotta do is give the cord a little tug. There, I fixed it."

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cave paintings

The beautiful designs and markings left on the inside of the toilet bowl after taking an extra-firm dump.
The firmness of the turd creates a "crayon effect".
Cave paintings will not wash away with flushing leaving but will deteriorate over time, leaving them for your friends and family to enjoy for days or weeks.

Wooo! That fudge dragon I pushed out of me left some cave paintings that looks like Charlie Sheen. Enjoy!

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Flaming Squirrel

1.) A mass of feces, alcohol (typically Jack Daniels) and Creole food, or any extremely spicy ethnic food, that expels from the anus typically between the hours of 6am to 8am.

Flaming Squirrels give the excruciating sensation of a live animal with sharp teeth and claws that has been set aflame and wants out of your asshole... now.

The Flaming Squirrel is always followed by hours of headache, stomach pains and extremely sore, burning and tender butthole.

2.) A small fuzzy mammal that has been set on fire.

1.) "We went to that Creole place last night, ate the gumbo and got hammered on Jack and Cokes. When I got up this morning, I shit a Flaming Squirrel."

2.) "This Flaming Squirrel shot out of my ass this morning. I had to moisten the toilet paper to put out the fire."

3.) "I took a Flaming Squirrel before work. My stomach aches, my head is banging and it feels like my leather doughnut has been dipped in battery acid."

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Man Crayon

A person who uses their anus to write or draw on any fixed object (ie. wall, car, castle door... etc.) while defecating.

"I hate my neighbor, so I wrote 'please leave' on his front door with my man crayon."

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sock fossils

Small pieces of lint that appear on your feet after removing your socks.

Hey, sucka... you should really wash your feet before putting on your flip-flops. Them sock fossils make you look like you have hobbit feet.

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Me Monster

1.) One who's world only consists of themself. Typically male.
2.) A person that speaks loudly about themselves and all their accomplishments for the sole purpose of demeaning others.
3.) see "douchbag"

ex. "You see that guy with the v-neck and the frapaccino? He's been talking about his new website like it's the new "facebook" for over an hour. I'm gonna stab that Me Monster in the face with this pen."

ex. "Holy shit! That guy just double-parked his BMW in a handicapped space at the retirement home to use the bathroom... AND he pissed all over the seat!!! What a Me Monster!!"

ex. "Hey, Me Monster! Your golf clubs aren't considered carry-on. Fuckin dick."

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