reading the tea leaves

The ability to tell the future from the examination of pubic hair deposited while " stirring the teabag"

"Mate! I've been reading the tea leaves after you were stirring the teabag. The outlook is dire!"

Or

After Dave was found stirring the teabag, his friends chose to do a reading of the tea leaves. Apparently a tall dark stranger was in his future.

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stirring the teabag

To use one's scrotal sack to stir another's beverage. (Preferably in an anticlockwise direction).

Also see reading the tea leaves

"Oh mate, you were so drunk last night you 'stirred the teabag' in that chicks drink".

Or

"I was stirring the teabag in that mojito so long last night my balls are numb"