protruding surprise

1. Something that is protruding and surprizing at the same time. Often the protrusion is the cause of the surprise.

2. When a woman conceals a strap-on/dildo and you are fucking or about to fuck, when suddenly she unleases her toy on your anus.

3. When you wake someone up by sticking something in their ass.

#1:
"My ass still hurts after my girlfriend decided to give me a protruding surprise..."

#2:
"Wow! What a protruding surprise!"

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shit battle

History:
A direct derivative of piss battle. This type of battle was created when two piss battle combatants had a draw...that is, both bladders were burst. Neither contestant wanted to cease the battle so they decided to join their rectums in order to have a battle of the anal muscles.

1. The combatants join their anal cavities together and after forming an leaktight seal begin to push the defecate between eachother. These battles are often ended once one of the combatants has emptied their body of all defecate. At this moment the combatant may disconnect their anus from their opponent and claim victory.

Shit battles are epic.

Shit battles do not cause cancer.

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guitar tie

A tie...made with a guitar.

You take a guitar and smash it on top of someone's head. The neck of the guitar will make a tie.

Warning: If done with an electric guitar, death or hospitalization are very likely outcomes.

A guitar tie can be quite humorous...

but is breaking a guitar really worth it?

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Heretic's Fork

noun:

A medieval torture device which consisted of a two-sided fork which would be strapped to the victims neck so that any movement of the jaw caused extreme pain.

The victim was then forced to say the word "abiuro" which is latin for "I recant" or else they were hung or burned at the stake.

This device qualifies as a funkatron.

Tom: "I don't really think that god exists..."

Bill: "STFU or Im gonna tell the pope and he will strap a Heretic's Fork to your neck!"

Tom: "..."

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Thumbscrew

noun:
A torture device of many forms and shapes. The main purpose it serves is to inflict slow and excrutiating pain to the fingers or toes of a victim.

verb:
A sexual technique involving the thumb (or both thumbs) to screw or fuck their partner or victim. Usually performed in the "thumbs up" or "handshake" position.

1: After the thumbscrew was applied to the cookie monster, he confessed to taking all my cookies.

2: "If you insert your thumb in an orfice then you are thumbscrewing."

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The Pear

noun:

A tool utilized in Medieval Europe to punish those who commit sodomy, heracy, etc.

This pearshaped tool with spikes is inserted into one of said victim's orfices and via a screw is cranked open, causing severe internal mutilation.

At first the pear can be pleasureful...but not for long.

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thunder rodding

When you wrap wire around your throbbing member and during intercouse you electrocute it. The amount of voltage varies from user to user (personal preference).

Warning: "Thunder Rodding" may cause severe burns and possibly the amputation of your meat knob.

Rodion: "Thunder rodding can be fun."
Steven: "Really? I hear it can burn your cock."
Rodion: "I know...thats why its fun."
Steven: "Oh..."

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