Salad Fingers

Salad Fingers is a man, a man with a plan, a man with a vision, a man of great vision, he's a guy, he's a dude, a dude who lactates, warm milk "comes out from the inside of his teat" when he rubs nettles against it, and the best thing about this guy is that his fingers are made of leaf vegetables.

AND he's VERY, VERY, creepy. And he stutters nervously whenever he speaks.

Picture the scene right, you've got a fish cooking in the oven, it's so far at the back that you can't even reach it, so what do you do, you should HELP HELP HELP and some poor guy comes in with a look of permanent terror on his face, no one knows what terrible things this poor soul has seen but the worst is still to come for him, in he comes, you tell him about the fish and explain that with his "supple... little... frame...." he might be able to climb into the oven and get it for him. What do you do next? Well obviously you shut the oven, pierce your leafy fingers on a meat hook on the wall, enjoy the gorgeous sensation and sigh ecstaticly that you "like it when the red water comes out", doze off and eventually wake up in a pool of your own blood smelling the fumes wafting from the oven and comment that "that fish must be almost done by now".

And Salad Fingers has got a room with the all his old friends, minus skin and skeletons, hanging on hooks on the wall.

All I can say is, make sure you've got your SPOON GUARD if this li'l fella comes a-knockin' on your door. He's got a real thing for RUSTY SPOONS. (Spoon guard is available free of charge at rathergood.com, as well as a warning about the possible side effects of spoon guard).

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yo mama

yer mum basically. That's about it really. Need a few more words to fill this thing in.... hmm. Will that do the trick?

Yo mama told me she don't know HOOOO yo daddy woa-wwwwwwwz!

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