Ass Cannon

Ass Cannon

Characteristics of one with an Ass Cannon
1) This person, man or woman, is known for their explosive power stemming from their ass cheeks. Sometimes unable to control their talent, he or she must be careful when going to take a crap, otherwise people one floor down from the toilet may suffer the consequences as the floor above may break due to the explosiveness of her ass and fall upon this person.

2) One with a humongous ass cannon can also contribute to society. Ass cannons are only called upon by countries military, for example, Greece or Canada, when all other options have been exhausted. Code words: “Release the Kraken!!” are used to deploy the one with an explosive ass. The ass cannon always gets the job done, and leaves behind a devastating scenery of corpses, radiation clouds, and of course, poop.

3) Not only used by the military, those with ass cannons can serve to be useful at barbecues to fire up the grill, as they have the ability to spew deadly fire out their asses.

1) Person 1 with ass cannon: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM…. I did it again, the toilets clogged. I think the floor may have broken as well.
Brother: AAAGGGHH!!! It’s all over me!!!
Mom: *screaming* Your brother!!! He’s… he’s… dead.

2) Person 1: Mr. President, there are no more forces left, we have no other choice! Do what must be done!
Mr. President: *sighs*…This is a sad bitter day... execute order “Release the Kraken”. Get her ass cannon in here. May her future victims rest in peace for the horror they are about experience.

3) Chris: Nancy! Get your ass over here, fire this up! We’re having chicken.
Nancy: Okay, Let ‘er rip! *boom*
Chris: Your ass never fails, great work.

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