beard braces

Something extremely lame, like, as lame as a 28 year old guy with braces on his teeth and a beard on his face.

Dude, are you going to the Weird Al concert this weekend?

No way man, it's gonna be total beard braces.

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Nut Hand

The hand that you use for masturbating.

Chris: I use my left hand as my nut hand, even though I'm a righty.
Brett: Weirdo. I'm righty and my right hand is my nut hand.
Bri: I can use either hand as a nut hand.
Sarah: I don't have a nut hand.
Ashley: STFU.

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Sexual Santa

Someone who is particularly unselfish and giving in the bedroom. Likely to happen only once a year, though not necessarily around christmas time.

My wife was good this year, so I'm going to give her all the sexual presents she wants. Yeah, I'm her sexual santa.

14👍 1👎

Gullett

A person who speaks with an exaggerated drawl, particularly when ordering breakfast food at a restaurant.

Waiter: What can I get you today, miss?
Girl: I'll have the frainch toewwwwwst.
Friend: My God, can you be any more of a Gullett?

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