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Porn Detective

Someone who uses all their internet sleuthing abilities in order to find the source of a particular pornographic image or clip. Google search, reverse image search, questioning discord and reddit users, freeze framing to check out on-screen text, cross referencing screenshots of the model in question with a database of similar looking models until he finds a match, nothing is out of the question when you're horny and trying to get off. This is the dude that should have been working at the NSA to find Bin Laden, but instead he's trying to find the name of the porn star he just watched get gangbanged.

Imagine a dude from CSI, except instead of looking for a murderer, he's zooming into a washed out watermark in the corner of a :03 second .gif in order to find out the source of the porn he wants to jack off to.

Jim: "God damn that was a hot clip. Who was that?
Michael: "No idea. Just found it while browsing reddit. Send it to Kyle, he's a real porn detective. If he's horny, He'll find the source in less than an hour."

by Atsumi Saiki December 9, 2021