Ruby Cowan

A rare type of next door neighbour, she will not take no for an answer and never admit when wrong. She is also extremely obsessed with Oliver Dance and one day dreams of claiming him for her own, also prone to excrementing on slides most commonly in Church Langley. Commonly also mistaken for Kerry from This Country.

“Look is that Daisy Mae Cooper!”
“Oh wait it’s just ruby cowan...”

Oliver Dance

One of the fittest, most attractive and most drippiest boys ever. Once you find Oliver Dance, there’s no turning back. Also has a bigger penis that Callum’s.

Sharon “Have you seen anyone lately”
You “No I found Oliver Dance”
Sharon “I guess I’ll have to settle for a Callum ;(“