Fuckton

A derived unit of measurement taking into account actual weight, dimension, proportion, and of being at least 15 pounds too heavy.

Person 1: Dude, why are you so weird?
Person 2: My big sister used to sit on me when i was a child.
Person 1: So?
Person 2: So she's like ten years older than I am and weighs a fuckton more than I do.
Person 1: Damn...

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Dick With a Graduation Hat

A logical fallacy.

Excited Mom: So... my honors student can totally beat your honors student...

Bored Mom: Your honors student is a dick...

Excited Mam: a Dick With a Graduation Hat

Bored Mom: With loser parents.

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