Twilight

A poorly written piece of literature that somehow ended on the Bestsellers list. Composed in a four-set series (soon to be five), the saga follows the difficulties that Mary-Sue (Bella Swan) and Gary-Stu (Edward Cullen) expirience day-to-day.

Gary-Stu is a "dazzling", "mezmerizing", "god-like", one hundred-year-old vampire that lusts for Mary's blood. He is known to be the most beautiful creature alive, indestructable, and so fast he is a mere blur whenever he moves. However, he posses horrible, overreactive, bi-polar and manic traits that often makes the reader ponder his eccentric mood swings.

Mary-Stu, the epitome of "beautiful", is the whiny, self-centered, retortful and shallow heroine of the novels. Despite having a daughter of her own, a gorgeous, loving and selfless husband, a few cars, becoming a vampire, and a fantastic family, she is never satisfied. She has been revealed as a sex-addict.

tl;dr: The Twilight saga is nothing but horrible moral values of teenage girls, a jackpot of cliches, and 600+ pages of uneducated literature. To save a liveful of regret, please refrain from reading the series.

If you would like to read real literature, invest in classic works, such as Charles Dickens or Anna Sewell. 21st-century writers include: James Patterson, J.K. Rowling, or Cornelia Funke; all three are successful writers with real, professional talent.

"Isn't Twilight such a fantastic book?"
"I beg to differ. The entire series has more shit than a medieval cesspool."
" . . . Lol. Wut?"
"What I mean is, this: Any person with half-a-brain would drop it immediately. I ought to know."

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