LLoL

Abbreviation for Literally Laughed Out Loud

Lucy on Facebook: "LLoL'd at this picture of Ricky slapping Fred!!!"

Ethel:"WTF is 'LLoL'?, Lucy Dear?"

Lucy: "'LITERALLY Laughed out Loud', because you know, Fred is SUCH a douchwaffle... LLoL again!!! Sorry, Ethel Dear!!! 'Niters!"

Ethel: "Pleasant Dreams, Lucy Dear." Bitch...

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salad shootin'

When you've eaten too much salad, or other fiber source, and the second your butt hits the toilet seat feces shoots out at high velocity.

Neil: Hey man, you coming, we're gonna be late for that statistical overview meeting!

Bob: Naw, dude, I'm gonna be salad shootin' for a few more hours. NEVER eat Mexican yogurt!!!

beard-on

The practice of reality TV pseudo-celebs, primarily on the Discovery Channel, using product in their beards to give the appearance of a long, hard, straight beard, resembling the male mammal penile erection in appearance.

Neil: "Did you catch all those beard-ons on Discovery last night?"

Bob: "I know, right? It's like they won't give you a show unless you're a visable douche..."

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