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A term coined to define a person who is capable of exceeding all expectations of being a cock.
now tell me i didnt coin the word cockwadge, cockwadge...
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a weiner of many disguises who likes to take as many schlongs in his gob as physics will allow. He is also partial to sharting his pants and can sometimes be found trying to dispose of his soiled cruddies out of the toilet window of his unfortunate employer.
disguises include recoba (inter milan footballer), neville (harry potter character) pete doherty and some turkish bird with a rather odd shaped mush.
bollox, here comes pidi amin, what a cunny! whats that smell?
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A mongolian monkey matinee is the central asian derivation of the european monkey face, an act in which a guy simultaneously wadges and throws a handful of short and curlies in the face of some dirty strumpet.
The mongolian monkey matinee differs by using pre clipped strands of anal beard from the gooch or the chode and is performed first thing in the morning so that the unsuspecting mutter does not get a chance to turn away from the impending anal beard / ball juice double combo.
"Jenny looks so peaceful sleeping. I almost don't want to wake her. But my urge to litter her chops with jizzy gooch hairs is too strong to resist...bam bam, mongolian monkey matinee!"
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A mudface is something that only a very sick or filthy woman would let you perform. The quintessential smut peddler's paradise. It involves showering a bitch's mush in shards of gooey shite, preferably with the velocity of a shart. Once applied, the woman leaves it to dry on her face before flaking it off like mud and using it to top a cappuccino.
Pascale "So are you gonna give me a mudface or what?"
Me "Umm, do we have to? Can't we just make normal love?"
Pascale "Are you gonna dump on my face or am i going to have to try and shart on my own face?"
Me "OK, here comes the dumper truck..."
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