Han Solo

Masturbating alone because your partner has left you for being so obsessed with Star Wars.

She said The Last Jedi was the last straw...
Now I'm pulling a Han Solo every night.

Devastated...

Anakin

When a consenting partner advances sexual intercourse by turning their body to present their anus

- thus 'turning to the dark side'.

We were in the middle of really passionate sex when she said 'Lets Anakin' - I thought to myself 'wow, I should put a ring on this amazing woman' - but before I knew it - she had 'er ring on me!